I  remember my grandfather today. Dadda  was    a paratrooper who  parachuted into the concentration camps  in germany at the end of the war.

he was deeply troubled by what  he saw and  I believe he never recovered  from that trauma but his Scottish   upbringing  did not allow for  sadness, he was the head of the family and he carryed on.

I remember you Dadda  and miss you and  wish you could have  lived  your final years with happy memories, not  Alzheimer but not to be.

RIP

By yon bonnie banks,
And by yon bonnie braes,
Where the sun shines bright on Loch Lomond,
Where me and my true love
Were ever want to gae,
On the bonnie, bonnie banks of Loch Lomond.

Oh! ye’ll take the high road and
I’ll take the low road,
And I’ll be in Scotland afore ye;
But me and my true love
Will never meet again
On the bonnie, bonnie banks of Loch Lomond.

Thank you to those people who still read and those who  give me encouragement

Cat Stevens  ”Father and Son” Didn’t know the song  till  it started playing, it got me at have to go away .

From the moment I could talk I was ordered to listen.
Now there’s a way and I know that I have to go away.
I know I have to go.

All the times that I cried, keeping all the things I knew inside,
It’s hard, but it’s harder to ignore it.
If they were right, I’d agree, but it’s them They know not me.
Now there’s a way and I know that I have to go away.
I know I have to go.

Good bye  Trev love you always will never forget you

Am off to the gathering  of the Bdsm folk  so we can talk about the Trev we all knew,  we can talk about your  hook suspension when we talk about flying, not  skydiving xxxx

I  met this beautiful man  online first and he  floored me with his knowledge and  support  he gave to all the new people he  met.

He was great support to me thru some hard times in my life and never  once did he  say we have had this conversation too many times, move on.

He was the sweetest  man who  embraced his life with gusto, not letting things get him down and focussing on the positive. you were and will continue to be a inspiration to me.

I am so sad I never got to see your hook suspension but I am so glad you got  to achieve some things off your bucket list.

You were a man who gave and gave.

Love you lots trev, wish you didn’t have to make your journey  so soon  but  thank you for choosing to  leave on a beautiful day with tis special significance (waitangi day / nz day ) and  on a day that  will always now mean so much more.

We did not  want much time, just a chance to hold  his hand and  let him know how much we care and miss him, but alas the family in their grief is stopping visits from friends especially ones they  did not know before this moment.

We are so shocked  and it  is not how we  would  do things but  we  must respect his family’s wishes.

I feel like  the  chance of seeing him while he is able to  even acknowledge   our presence is slipping thru  our fingers.

It is  raining today  and I feel like the sky and I am crying together , I am lost and so upset…..

Love you  my mate, wish I could  be there and hold your hand but I  can only  hope that you know how much you have meant to me through the years. I am glad to have met you,  love you always.

I am feeling like he has gone already

….. too much for  me to deal with

I  have touched base with phoenix and  caught up on  her  news. Love ya girl xx

I stressed last night before my big trial today for my new job but as usual Sir had ways  of making  me destress……

Got to love that combination Hitachi  and  his mind.  Add in  my mind sadist streak on myself  and what a marvelous head fuck

skipping off to  folic in the sun naked ….